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Saturday, September 06, 2003 Dun even know where to start�.Blogger�s down so I m typing dis on word doc�wanna jot down my tots b4 they get lost smwhere in the deep realms of my brain� Yup, zexi apparently climbed over the corridor railings and almost wanted to jump down. I feel so sick juz thinking abt it�.before dat was my period and I scolded him coz he tore the penmanship paper I gave him�wanted to send him to the office but he walked out of the classroom�got Jordan to follow him and before long he wandered back in again�I knew he will be back�after he was done with sulking and all�took his handbook to write wat hap..to inform his mum..he juz snatched the book fr me�I didn�t show any expression and juz told him its ok if I dun write it down..i let him knoe dat I will inform his mym�den I left the class when he was sitting at his table.. Whatever transpired fr the time I left to time when Sheryl came into the class was unknown�apparently Sheryl found him crying and the class explained wat hap in my lesson b4�and suddenly zexi juz stood up and ran out of the class�the other kids noticed him climbing the railing outside the next class�and they started shouting �zexi is going to jump down!� upon hearing dis, zexi den attempted to �jump��.sheryl got a shock and ran to grab him�tink Shirley saw him outside the classz too�. I dunno..dis was revealed to me by Sheryl�on the a/c of things tat took place� Mr lam spoke to him�got him to the sick bay..tok�I didn�t even knoe anything coz I was reliefing my own class� Rushed dwn w Sheryl when she told me�office called his mum..came dwn�didn�t explain much�coz mdm foo will be calling the mum later�she asked her to tok to him�tinking its gd to juz see wats wrong b4 gg straight to asking y he wanted to jump� Bottomline: being a person who takes things upon herself, I naturally reflected wat I did�was it justified? I was totally freaked out�wat if he had really jumped? We were in no position to say dat he was juz pretending�and seeking attention� Its not even a question of whether I will hav a clear name or not�it�s a life we r toking abt,,even if it�s a boy who has been giving lots of trouble and seemed unlovable.. Then the other real and selfish worries came much later of coz�my job�.my reputation�everything.. A bad beginning to my much-awaited hols� Simply left my stuff and joined shirley and Sheryl for lunch at TM� Right nw still a lil shaken�tho mdm foo understands and stuff�shir and Sheryl also said its zexi�s psychological prob� Prayed for God;s peace and favor�He;s the onli pillar I can rely on� Wanted so much to call someone to share dis�yet I juz didn�t�went out w ss and gang as per normal�tok to leanna but didn�t share much� Nw back in the rm I m all alone again w my tots..and the presence of God Shank smsed�or rather I smsed him first to ask if he was ok coz of his injury since I was the last person where the smsing stopped.� Mentioned he felt our mtg wasn�t juz pure coincidence�dat there mus be smthing �I don mean to scare u away but I m sorry for hw things turned out for us..i think tat I bumped into u tat day for a reason..wish I knew wat it is�� �We shld tok abt dis smtime and not juz let this be�I cant help but tink tt I m being punished for all tt I hav done..� �We will do dat smtime�it was so nice seeing u..since dat day..cant stop tinking abt all that had happened�guess I wanna make amends..� Last thing I wan is to make someone feel bad� The knowing, ever-seeing God�.hold me close�never let me go�I belong to u�.
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nadir...loves Big Guy, dad-mum-sis-bro-granz, donkey, audz-ben-abby-shalom,
plugged to donkey's ipod in the cararchives 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 links Audz taggie
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