Sunday, October 05, 2003
seems like i haven touched my room comp in days...more like i haven been touching lots of my stuff in days..cept for my ultra-nuah mattress and Smelly..
been thinking abt how many frens i m gonna lose shld i maintain my present life style of being totalli passive and uninvolved..
den again..if they require high maintenance...den maybe the tag "frens" aint dat well suited after all?
thoughts were spurred by teh coincidental mtg w ming heng on bus 518 on my way for a movie w andrew...he n the guys r now scattered all over...working etc...
even abel, the one dearest to me, has been sorta lost...
well..at least for him i knoe we wil stil be able to tok when we meet...dat tot was comforting
imagine..someone u hung ard w in a grp for say 1 yr plus....someone u ate w...mugged w....watched Young & dangerous w...simply nuahed w...
the few minutes of catching up on the bus was unbearable..
or mebbe its jus me coz i haven conversed w someone fr my past for so long my speech & brain faculty needs tweaking....
and the all familiar liner:"we (the gang) should meet up sometime" sprouted by urs truly...now dats NOTHING new..haha..tink both of us know dat aint gonna happen
i m not even thinking abt those i hav truly called kindred spirits..those who sashayed into my life and left an imprint of their love:
1) VJC - jillian, madeline, evelyn, hui shan, pei yong
2) NUS - abel, ming heng, hero, jesse, cheryl, li ying, yaoren, shank
3) Ungrped - david..coz he transcends all these institutional grpings...
4) Cell - michelle, charlene, sue-anne, lih min
yet the tot of calling them up personally or smsing them is unbearable..
i m on my way to being a social recluse...
worrying coz i m not worried....
teh combines cell mtg yez took so much out of me...minus the drama mama part abt having to enact dis role in Shaolin Soccer...
realli gave me the shudders to hav to ask ppl how r u....wat hav u been doing....oh i c...dats gd....hope u r feeling better....et cetera
by the time my room came in view at the end of the night....i barely spoke to my mum and dad (dad coz liverpool lost 2-1 last nite agst Arsenal and i was realli disturbed)......
and of coz the onli word i uttered loud yez nite was FUCk when i realised i dropped a bottle of moisturer and it cracked and contents were spilt all over the floor...
someone's gonna tell me to organise my stuff better...u can try again
mum wanted me to go for service w her today...@8...
as anyone can imagine...i zonked out totalli..
been pretty zonked these recent nites...wondering if its the work or the low bld pressure at work...plus those perpetual headaches..
wun be surprised if someone comes n tells me i hav a tumor in my brain..wun bat an eyelid
Sis's bday coming up..my 'evil' mum stole my idea to buy her an Energy album...geez..
now i hav no clue wat she wans...
mebbe a new wardrobe...hmm..
hard to buy teen stuff!!urgghhh
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