Sunday, March 14, 2004
BRing it on!Cant help but to surf to the Dirty Dancing2: Havana Nites....lol...for obvious reason...
DIEGO LUNA!!!!!(k pardon the real bad name...his face shld save the day!)
It was so soothing on a real bad friday...so i tot i let u all in on smthing droolsome...hee *gushgush*
oh and i hav some stuff to clear up regarding my last blog entry...
the kids did realli badly in their exams dis time coz it was a tough paper...but it aint the reason y i rewarded them...nor is the choice of the reward an issue (a 1 for 1 pizza when divided by 36 kiddos = $1 per kid...pricey?mebbe...me rich...no)
it was coz i was touched by the enthusiasm they showed whenever they obeyed the task and rules and procedures...and i m not taking them for granted.
imagine u r a P4 kid and dis silly teacher tells u to rest ur head on the darn table when she says "No. 4"....for one, i wld tink its real silly. But the fact was, this whole class of do dos do it...and at total obedience. Mebbe they havent realised its silly...i dunno...but i aint gonna ask them.
Second, it will be quite unfair if i juz reward the grp w the most points coz the poinst were pretty close and personalli, i feel they all did their best given their various weaknesses. So at the expsense to give them a pat on every one of their backs, i tot pizza was a cheap alternative compared to stationary or any other stuff..which they could hav obtained of much better quality.
THe other issue abt rewards. Yes, it is not exactly wise to reward them w tangible gifts and such...but dat does not mean that verbal praise and encouragement was totalli lost....in my class or in terms of their value in buidling up a child.
Bottomline...it was a long term 1 and it was MUFTI day...i tot i juz chill out and give them a gd time. No motives watever...they like and enjoy it...gd..if they dun...i dun give a hoot coz it was fr my heart.
GEnerousity..and i m not ashamed to say dis abt myself...is a big part of me. I love spending on ppl i care...it doesnt matter who pays first or whether i get the money back later...piper can attest to the fact that i do ask for money back...in desperate times!lol And of coz there were times i hav been blessed..so much more den wat paltry sum i hav given in love and kind. Oh yah..if i haven paid u back..like auddie..remind me...beginning to realise more and more the sensitive issues regarding money...which were then not at all apparent to me b4...
The reason for dis entry...y i m bothering to clear dis up is coz i dun wan ppl to have a wrong view of who i m...wat values i wanna teach...coz I try to be one who ppl can see some form of God in me. Coz i m a Christian..someone touched by God and willing to walk in His testimony...And the word is "try" coz i m far fr it...
I m more and more convinced dis career path is a calling fr the Big Guy...and at times when i m vulnerable and tested, i remind myself how i ended up there in the first place. Soemtimes i need real ppl to come and give me a pat on the back and say "Job well done"...
In summary, as i writing dis, its not outta anger or frustration. BAsicalli i tink its for myself...as a sorta thinking process abt who i m and y am i here. Been having a real tough time @ work...things and info not communicated to me coz i m neither a p4 nor p5 tecaher but an in-between...loss of such identity...being left forgotten for quite a few times hav realli drained me and affected how i do my work...even as i try in my spirit to say its situational...not personal. Snide remarks abt y do we even bother to hav staff gatherings when we r not AT ALL interested thrown at u...when u r *helplessly* in the welfare committee...having a supe (realise i m still under the old one...somehow but dunno y) dat do not play an active part in telling me stuff i shld know...a tentative but nice supe who tries to help but also doesnt knoe much coz the hiearchical system is barring her fr obtaining info unless its a for ur info and action thing.
Last but not least, i hav been blessed tremendously by God. ANd at the end of it all, He is faithful and is always good. Learning to walk w Him...thru it all...truly madly nadir if not for Him.
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