Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Didn't realise Doodle-board is no longer in operation till i went to their website. Paying for it is a tad too ex for cheapo me. So..ta ta taggie.Know why i managed to blog this?
well, this gal's gotta her first MC for the year...i tink. Apparently struck w food poisoning but dunno why my head's pounding like those kungfu blacksmith forging a world-class number 1 pugilistic sword that is tian xia di yi.
u get the pic.
to feel psychologically better and less guilty that i left my class unattended to rest at home despite having a NeWater trip today, i lugged home my laptop, 3 stacks of paper and my dead-beaten body. Aimed straight for the clinic with all the barang. Even if i wasn't sick physically, the doc will prolly assume i m mentally unstable.
Managed to get this fren back into my life. Pri sch mate..extremely close in the past. Suffered fr depression quite a few years back and this sch topper stopped after 3 mths of jc due to stress. Worked at a bank but had to give up due to collapse. Strangely our mums/grannies managed to meet at the market and started chatting, hence we managed to talk. Amazing wat a few years can do to u. Or what life hits u with. If u hav no anchor, you r no better than a sampan whipped by the storms.
Sometimes work is like a vacuum cleaner. Totally sucks u in and u soon forget wat and who u r working for. All u care abt is clearing the stuff in front of u. When it gets too much, juz look behind and there's more. Laptop signals more type-written reports to finish and papers to set.
HAd to tear myself fr work that sunday as i sensed Big Guy telling me i shld talk to her. Dunno how much it has helped her but praying it'll be something at least. Learnt from her that another pri sch classmate is getting married in june. Which makes me realise i m not young anymore. There's always this relation between age and marriage. Haha..must be the bio clock ticking.Doesnt help that ur family doc asks u too when ur big day is. Hahaha..
Didnt make me think y i m single but instead was tinking more of my mental state of mind and maturity. To have someone in ur life to share means ur mind and heart must be big enuff for someone to come in and take their place there. Having Him alone takes so much...makes me wonder.
Maybe i'll always be a child-wannabe and be at status-quo. I dun wanna grow up..i m a Toy R Us kid...Thinking abt the big pic, realise that i m in the dec mission trip again. this time it is to..ermm..Xu Zhou? Anyway, smthing that sounds like that. Amazing;y, i didnt even sign up for this trip but the Shanghai migrant children trip. Waiting list was long...so kinda aborted ideas abt any trips. Now it has landed on my lap, it feels real strange to have ur plans interrupted a little. Wonder if I can save enuff for the Masters programme next yr. Even as i m typing this, He asks me to trust Him. Okay, watever u say God.
Bali's the trip in june hols. Something i m really looking forward to. Sun sand sea...time away from work...chill out..lotsa iced tea and mebbe pina coladas. Sometimes wonder how i can keep mentally sane when things jus pop right up and i can feel the stress (chest tightness). As i told my frens, that aint no result of tight bras. =)
Gonna condemn the nasi lemak stall at bukit merah hawker centre. Strongly suspicious that is the cause of my misery. Taking the chance to catch up a lil on sleep.
Over and out.
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