Wednesday, March 15, 2006
ReflectionsAttending lq's wedding opened up some thoughts for me. Chatting w lb on msn set my mind spinning further. Interesting how He sometimes speaks..via people and things around you.
I m honestly fearful that i'll take lq's path (she has chosen the decision and i dun blame her) maybe 5 or 10 years down the road, turning from Him who so loves us and looking for a human source of comfort. Beginning to feel i m so vulnerable, we all are, that i may juz walk the same way.
Vic and me were talking abt sch stuff..was getting pretty serious and tinging w cynicism when he blurted out that the guys were discussing about my ' single status' when they were hanging out. Goes to show how guys can be quite san ba too. Interesting to know. Coming from vic,i know he and the others were genuinely concerned. He mentioned abt my stubborness and high standards, which I personally do not agree to the latter one.
It's gonna be tougher now that lb's attached and I'm the only one on the boat again. Happy for her though and praying that this one will truly treasure her for who she is. He sounds mature enough at least. That's a good start.
Some thoughts pandered to the ministry side. Find myself so far off from the rest when i attended the wednesday meeting. Haven't felt this way in a long while...much like undeserving and over my head. Will take time to learn and grow while hanging in there for elison.
Happy thoughts:
1) Shalom, my god daughter's bro, is born! Welcome my sweetie!
2) First and stumbling attempt to lead someone to Christ in Mandarin. Even managed to go thru John 3:16 in Chinese. Truly amazing!
3) Reconnected w huishan and eve after so long. As a commemoration, here's a rare treat...pictures!
NB: Dark horse in all the pics is urs truly,flanked by pretty gals
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Still amazed at howI survived this arduous week.Only by His grace indeed.Handed in a group assignment and completed the inquiry test which was really mentally stimulating and challenging. Almost forgot how a test felt like - now I can safely say I understand when mu kiddos r going thru it next week.
A lil surprised when other grps feedback that our project looked great - someone gave the thumbs-up, someone claimed we 'spoilt' the market... I attributed it to the colour of the printing but I must admit I really did spend a lot of time and effort on it. My part was the students' materials and producing asthetically appealing worksheets are my forte so it wasn't really something that challenging. Yet thankfully, our ideas gelled together as a group and we worked fanstastically well despite our obvious differences. One down, one more to go! Hmm, make that one more individual assignment, test and another report till the end of the semester!
Button claims she doesn't know how I manage to do all these while she struggled under the usual workload. I don't either - kinda adopting Nike's motto of Just Do It and maybe a lil of Adidas' Impossible is Nothing? Come to think of it, they are quite biblical.
Leaders' meeting was rather interesting but I really felt out of place there, esp when they gathered in their tribes after the main session. Sensed ppl eyeing me strangely - a weird experience and conscious sensation that I can't shake off the whole night. Buddy's sharing was extremely interesting, esp drawing the map of China.
Wonder how much of it I can recall.
Thoughts of leaving pcs disappeared when I heard his sharing. Strange how God speaks to people through people. Guess I'll be staying a while and learn how best to cope and manage in the old place till I hear from Him again. Shu's pretty glad when I told her. Did try to invite her to church (my assignment for the week) but wasflatly rejected. Will try again. No doubts she will come sometime in the future.
A lil fearful when I realised that I have been living day by day and weeks seemed to zoom past before I even know it. It feels a sense of losing control, much akin to cycling along the beach on a bike with no brakes. I don't want to wake up and realise that I'm still on the same path ten years down the road, still unable to stop.
Back to compositions of a robbery. Try reading 37 copies of similar story ideas...sigh..even after brainstorming!
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