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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Everybody (at least from my generation and era) knows the song 'Somebody' by Depeche Mode, yah? Kind of feeling that these couple of days. Must be due to the immense amount of time I have to start thinking about the future, myself, people around...It's especially more in-my-face when I witnessed the nurses cleaning my sis's open wound and her crying in fear and pain. I kept thinking that oughta be someone who I can simply download all these to, someone physically present and able to allow me a shoulder to lean and obviously cry on. Someone who will not be burdened if I were to download all the emotions that I have inside, then pat my head and says 'Everything's gonna be alright!', no matter how cliche that may sound.

I used to think that I alone am enough for this world, what life brings, and of course to face it with Him. Yet that nagging feeling sprouted even before I realised it. Guess it is always the time of the lonely season - Xmas. As much as it is a time for families to gather and celebrate a good year spent, friends appreciating each other and remembering the journeys they ventured together, it is an easy time to fall into the I-am-so-alone-so-help-me-God kinda mood.

I want to get away, be by myself, spend a whole day lying in bed, throw myself into the cool waters of the sea, feel gentle breeze caressing my face, not needing to speak a single word for a day.

Allow me a moment to be selfish, not to be someone's sister, someone's daughter, someone's friend, but simply me, myself and I.

No, my life's not sad and sappy. I ain't down and out. I am not spiritually dry. Perhaps one word sums it all up...STRETCHED.

Like a rubber band that is pulled, I think I need a bout of release.

Lead me beside quiet waters, green pastures...coz I shall not be in want.

Elise @ 11:44 PM | comment link here

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nadir...loves Big Guy, dad-mum-sis-bro-granz, donkey, audz-ben-abby-shalom, mich, piper, sleepydog, yina, david, shue, mich c, smelly...

Can't do without my iriver, guitars, folksy singers, soulful jazz, linkin park, corrine may, jars of clay, sonic flood, tom yum kung, green tea...bascially music and food move me.

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