Have you ever felt like crying but somehow you can't seem to do it? Was almost choked to tears twice while hugging 2 gals today - siti when she came to say bye, and audz when she dropped me off after work.

Just an avalanche of emotions, possibly stemming from my kiddo B who simply refused to help himself, a compulsive liar and tries to win your favour back when he does somthing wrong. It's simply so tiringand emotionally draining. I feel there is nothing else I can give. And this helplessness pervades even beyond the teaching part...it's slowly seeping in to my soul as I continue to rush from place to place, project to project, work to work, person to person. It makes me want to lie down, refuse to do anything but curl myself up and sleep myself silly.

Came across this page and thought it was a pretty interesting detailed response to depression.

Anyway, read this inspiring speech (which apparently appeared in Akeelah and the Bee which I have not caught) in class yesterday. We had a fun time reading ot out for our oracy module.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

How cool is that. I'm thinking of things I can do to cheer my lil' wounded soul up, like catching the fireworks on thurs night (but not with the crowds), going to the Jay Chou movie, heading for a run, hug someone and cry on their shoulder...