Saturday, November 24, 2007
About Plays and Relief
Been a long time where I have the privilege to be at the edge of my seat (literally) and enjoy a wonderfully written and touching script being played out. Of course, I haven't had the privilege to even go out in a while now...but it really made my evening. Can't deny though it is grossly disturbing, but I'm just so glad I caught it. Walked out of the theatre feeling everyone seems to have had a terribly abusive childhood and that all must have been screwed up once in a while. So thought-provoking that I could hardly sleep after that.
Yup, results are finally out. Felt really glad that my darlings made it through to secondary school, but that feeling did not last. Realised that that wasn't good enough. Next came the tough decision of plaing them in WHICH school, since their scores ain't fantastic. Sigh. Anyway, much on my mind was how some kiddos really feel appreciative for you beng there, while others simply credit themselves for the effort. Not that I've done much, but one tends to think a lil thank you will be sweet. A few of them did exceptionlly well and I'm really really proud of them - especially those in my remedial class and managed to ace their English. Wishing them all the best in their next journey in life and yeah, I'm definitely going to miss them.
Came back from the GEP conference, where the high and mighty educators teaching in the Gifted Education or so called High Ability Learners gather and celebrate their successes and achievements. Simply felt out of place. Come on, why don't they have a conference on middle ability students and how to stretch their potential? These so called geniuses will somehow make it in the future, with or without gaining EQ. You should have seen the slides stating number of people getting BLAH BLAH BLAH awards, scholarships etc. I felt the heart of PM Lee's speech about reaching peaks of excellence for every child lies more in the mainstream children. Also came to realise one thing - you don't need to be able to speak well or present yourself well in order to be a VP. A shocking discovery - rather revelationary anyway. My eyes rolled back so much they almost popped out of their sockets! Then, the thought of teaching a better class next year became depressing. To the hell with the dumb perception that 'good teachers take the good classes'. On the positive side, let's see how much I can put the things I've learnt into the classroom. Already have the feeling I may just love the other class compared to my form.
A chat with shu surprisingly made me feel lighter, despite the dark contents of our sharing. I thought I was the one to listen to her share and be a support, but I ended up being blessed somehow too. So much I want to change yet so much still nt within my power and control. This is one area I really need to seek God about - the exit door doesn't seem to be available so the only option is to stay. Must be a reason and purpose why I'm here. Guess I have to find out.
Labels: Ramblings
Friday, November 16, 2007
It's been some time since I have been here. Many things have happened along the way...so many that I can hardly recall all. Being to wonder if this step up in leadership role is meant for me, when it seems that there are simply more and more things to do. It is akin to a bottomless pit where you do not know what truly lies beneath and you just keep falling. Irony is you stepped into the pit, and no one pushed you.Today must have been a recording breaking day of disappointment mixed with extreme fatigue. I thank God that He held the rains for me. Truly, threatening clouds were in full swing and we almost really had an indoor campfire. God is really good. Things however did not turned out as planned. Sound system was disappointing, even after my attempts to use a laptop and cd player. This was not what we had planned as the vendor promised they would look into it and give us better sound this time. The p6s were relatively uninterested and unmotivated to join in. That was the first and deepest disappointment for me. Honestly, if all else has failed, if only their attitude was positive, I would have truly enjoyed myself. Teachers did things I didn't expect, though I did lay down some rules which were not meant to be crossed.
Another long day tomorrow, plus the final assignment still very much work-in-progess. Down with a cold and sore throat. God's word of encouragement - 2 Cor 4:8
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