Monday, February 23, 2009
Tried to moderate my blog postings whenever possible to include a positve entry with a negative (aka whining post) so as not to display general passiveness and pessimistic sharings about my sad tragic little life. =)Too bad this one is a negative one. Just needed the space to let this out before it eats me inside. Probably the frustration stems from many individual episodes of 'sh*t' clearing and I really don't know when enough is enough. Or perhaps I'm just the 'lucky' one or the convenient one for that matter. I am beginning to suspect this is part of my job scope.
Anyway, it was a Saturday morning to school without my car (I am seriously pampered and spoilt) to take 2 cute lil' boys for a competition at Buena V. Someone who is reading this should know (I think she does) that I really really love you a lot. What I was (still am a little)unhappy about was the possible offered solutions behind-the-scenes, which rendered me the only available one to carry out this duty. So my dear, you are not the one to blame for my plight.
Sometimes I really wonder (up to now) if that few extra bucks per month is worth it. I love the core part of my job, the kids and all, but certainly not the additional top-ups. Okay, I've said it all. Think I feel better right now. =) Think after much reflection, especially on Sunday during worship, that I really need Him to give me the guidance on walking this path. Almost one year down and I am still struggling with the demands of the job. Others seem to think I'm doing fine, because they tell me so in full confidence. It doesn't make things easier. Let's get through this week, leaving the week into the Lord's hands. With J's wedding this Saturday, I doubt I can get the rest I want again.
On a side note, I think I am really beginning to be one of those irritating complain queens around and I hate myself for that. ARRGHH! I aspire to change. Change I must and will do.
Hmmm, so I need something uplifting to level up this post. End with a cheery note. I am slowly discovering how, besides having Him who loves me so much, having someone can be a huge blessing. It is not a need to have a particular someone. To me, it is a bonus and I thank God for it. Inside me I still have a quiet fear that things may not work out but I am learning to give this little hushed fear to the Lord. I have never felt quite like this in any previous relationships, perhaps because I wasn't totally letting myself go. So, if he happens to be reading this, I want to say I thank God for you and you have blessed me more than what I have for you.=)
Psalm 25:4-5
4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Labels: Ramblings
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Didn't realise my last entry was in Oct last year. My goodness! No wonder I get ticked off by people about not having updates here. Oops.Sudden urge to log on and blog. I wonder whether you do have a day or time like what I had today. All of a sudden, you just get this sense of hopelessness and dread. Then you get a little down, not wanting to do anything but simply sit or lie down and stone. I took time off to seek the Lord, reflecting over what and why I'm feeling the way I do. I am still not sure if it was prompted by what happened in school today - this idiotic vendor who disappears mysteriously without informing you and you end up selling stuff on his behalf. Amazed how stone cool pissed I was and yet able to speak to him in a low slow tone. I AM good!
Work has slowly become a silent dread. Not the teaching, mind you. Spending time with my kiddos is the best part of this job. Just the stuff you do in between the classes, during/pre/post endless meetings you are required to attend. Things you are supposed to remember, arrange, do on behalf of people, double check...what-have-yous. Things that get thrown in your face, things unexpected, things expected but turned out different...
Anyway, a gentle reminder as we approach Valentine's day that He is our ultimate valentine. This was what He revealed to me in my rare moment of sitting down seeking Him. Are you deeply in love with Him? Or is it you were? Found it hard to really mean what I sing in this song. Maybe it's time to pause and realign our lives with Him. If something is overtaking the throne position in your heart, let Him overshadow that and regain His reign again.
Hmm gosh, I feel like such a holy moley. Welcome to daily bread with Elise!=p
Something to ponder about:
Deeply in Love - Youth Alive
In my life You've heard me say
I love you
How do I show you it's true
hear my heart, it longs for more of you..
I've fallen deeply in love with you..
You have stolen my heart
I'm captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I've fallen deeply in love with you
You and I, together for ever
Nothing can, stand in the way
My love for you, grows stronger
each new day.
I've fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I'm captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I've fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I'm captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I've fallen deeply in love with you
Labels: Ramblings
about
nadir...loves Big Guy, dad-mum-sis-bro-granz, donkey, audz-ben-abby-shalom,
plugged to
donkey's ipod in the cararchives
11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
links
Audz
Mich
Piper
Dawndie
Abel
Broz
Elison
Alvin
Nimlight
Tribe
Darling 6E Kiddos
Darling 6K Kiddos
taggie
|
|
links
blogskins
spiritual home
photobucket
corrine may
credits
designed by w4rnawarni @ blogskins
