Thursday, June 18, 2009
At the point of nadir...again...Night time sometimes makes emotions feel more extreme. For instance, should you be frustrated, frustration at night magnifies at least twice. Depressed? Feel you are caught in the middle of something that you can't get out of (courtesy of U2)? The Goliath feeling just won't go away.
I have never hated my job this much. Even the definition of 'my job' is questionable. Teaching is my job. I have never doubted that. Answering dumb emails from people who are not doing their jobs? Picking up their s**t when they don't seem to bother? I need someone to define what exactly is MY JOB.
I really need to spend time thinking through this. Perhaps simply being a HOT (happy ordinary teacher - for the uninitiated) ain't a bad idea after all. The APEX (Annual Posting Exercise) looks tempting too. But the fact is, I want to know what is wrong, instead of running away from it all. I doubt it will get any better elsewhere, but I cannot stop dreaming.
I need a clear answer, God and I need it soon. If not, I may just turn into the most unpleasant resident B***CH you will ever meet.
Labels: Serious Rambling
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