Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Moving this to this new add. =)Labels: Change
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Day of Highs & Lows and what-nots...Have you ever been unknowingly bullied into doing something for someone?
Perhaps I should define the word 'unknowingly', meaning you sensed something was kinda out of place but you did not discover the true motive till much later, such as agreeing to help in something and then realising what it was all about.
I just feel so disgusted and cheated. Made used of. Sigh. After the waves of emotion swept past me, the anger, the disbelief...it feels much better now. Could have taken many actions to get back at the person, but I guess I am much calmer now. Going ahead with the decision to 'stand-in' did not signal that I am weak. I believe it will all come back to you...coz God is my avenger. Just didn't feel quite right to be evil and do the same as her. That will probably make me as bad as her.
Enough of ranting...I have been ranting on and off for soo long. Wonder how long this endurance journey and testing God has decided to let me walk through. Quite worried I will snap one day and totally be a bitch. I just might, you never know and you may not even know what hit you.
On a more positive note, Donkey & I will be doing some JT-watever test on Sat and our MPC will probably start in Jan. We shall see what happens. In the meantime, D has taken an interest in wedding stuff and bought a Wedding & Travel mag. I was pretty amused. Kept talking about which hotel is better and within budget. I'm sorry, I guess I'm not really the sort that can stand going rounds and rounds of deliberation, comparison of prices, the 'shopping'...If it eventually happens, I'm gonna get all the help I can. =P
Labels: Donkey tales, Ramblings
Saturday, August 22, 2009
It is timeSo I guess finally the time has come, a time that has been long overdue. It started when I stayed behind in NUS ministry after graduation and then staying on in the Youth net. It's official now that the whole load of us are moving on to where we are supposed to go - the Adults net.
I didn't realise I could feel so much when PS Sf met her gals who are supposed to move on last night. She shared her heart and every one of her words touched me deep within my soul. Her call was to run the race till the end and to constantly remember that God is in control ,and that He is forever faithful. The lyrics she read out were a promise that she will still be around as a spiritual guide and friend.
~
Find Your Wings - Mark Harris
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And if I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories
I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
~
The crumbling moment came when she stooped low on her knees and started to wash our feet. Her words, in between the tricking cool water on my toes and the warm touch of the towel, were the very words that I have been longing to hear. That she felt happy for me and had one fewer person to worry about, that she approved of this relationship and that she blessed it...
Perhaps I have been seeking for some form of approval from people around me, for them to tell me "Hey this is the one for you" or "Yup, you are doing the right thing". But most important of all, it was God's way of using my spiritual leader to assure me - not that I did not know of it since K has been a God-sent through and through. It was just somewhat different, somewhat authenticated, somewhat distinct and clear.
Besides E, PS Sf would be the other person I really listen to and obey. Must be the times of weaknesses she has seen me through while holding on to the group. A rare few have seen me in such moments and she was definitely one pillar I had.
I have been touched and yes, I am blessed.
As I sat in the car, recalling the words she whispered to me, I could only thank Him for all that He has brought me through and all that He has given. And that is the reason why I held K's hand throughout the ride home.
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